Flippy floppy.

Heather picked number 1. The first card in the stack was...

"Kale, Olive Oil, and Parmesan Soup" (6 quart pot)

~2 T olive oil
~1 onion, chopped
~3 garlic cloves, chopped
~2 pounds kale, washed and chopped
~8 c chicken stock (but you could just as easily use veggie broth if you're an herbivore.)
~Parmesan cheese, grated
~extra virgin olive oil

Heat olive oil in the LARGEST skillet you own over medium-high heat.
Add onion and garlic.
Cook, stirring often, until onion softens.
Stir in kale and cook for a couple minutes until kale become bright green and tender. (I had to do it in batches because 2 pounds is a LOT of kale.)
Remove from heat and store in refrigerator until needed.
Add chicken stock to crock pot.
Cover and cook on low for 6 hours. (Yes, you're crocking chicken stock all by itself for 6 hours.)
Add kale mixture and cook for 15 minutes or until heated through.
Spoon soup into bowls.
Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and drizzle (Does anyone else giggle at the word "drizzle"?) with extra virgin olive oil immediately before serving.

6 servings.

What's that noise? Was that a flop? Pretty much as soon as the title of tonight's crock escaped from my lips, my other half asked when we were ordering wings. We came pretty close to doing so, too. REALLY close. The closest ever. He was not a fan AT ALL. I ate my portion and I really wanted to like it, but kale might be "too green" for me (whatever that means). I think kale is an acquired taste, so I'll try to acquire it this week when I'm forced to eat the boatload of leftovers we have since I'm the only person in the house who can stomach it. Anyone wanna come over and help me...or want it delivered? It's...yummy?

Make it better with cooked rice?

Umm... Yeah.

Remember this from last week?

I did the same EXACT thing except I cooked the rice first and I cooked it on low for longer.

"Turkey Rice Pumpkin Not-Soup TRY #2" (6 quart pot)

~1 onion, chopped
~2 celery stalks, chopped
~4 cups turkey broth
~1 can (14.5 oz can) pumpkin
~2 lb turkey tenderloins, cut into bite-sided pieces and cooked
~1 cup rice, uncooked
~1 t sea salt
~1/2 t ground cinnamon

Add all ingredients to crock pot.
Cover and cook on low for 8 hours.

6 servings.

You're never going to believe what happened.

The. Same. Exact. Thing.

At least I served it in a bowl this time. Or something. It's a good thing it tastes yummy AND that my little helper LOVES it.

Pumpkin not soupy soup.

Perhaps the theme for this week should've been "Oops".

Tonight's dinner was based on this recipe. The only MAJOR change I'd planned was to skip the half and half.

This is what I did.

"Turkey Rice Pumpkin Not-Soup" (6 quart pot)

~1 onion, chopped
~2 celery stalks, chopped
~4 cups turkey broth
~1 can (14.5 oz can) pumpkin
~2 lb turkey tenderloins, cut into bite-sided pieces and cooked
~1 cup rice, uncooked
~1 t sea salt
~1/2 t ground cinnamon

Add all ingredients to crock pot.
Cover and cook on high for 4 hours.
6 servings.

My crock pot beeped at 7pm. It looked like this:

See how non-soupy that looks? I should've cooked the rice first like the recipe said. The uncooked rice absorbed all of the broth and VIOLA! I get non-soupy soup. Oops. Why didn't I cook the rice, you ask? Because I'm a bonehead. Plain and simple.

I scooped it out and plopped it on a plate. And then ate it with a fork.

See?

This was actually really, really good. Nothing like soup, CLEARLY, but yummy. My little helper LOVES it which is an unexpected bonus.

I'm going to have to make it again. The right way and the wrong way.

Got crabs?!

I currently live in the crab capital of the world. Ok, maybe not the world, but sometimes it feels like it because Maryland is famous for their crabs and I HATE (most) crab meat. I was born and grew up in the suburbs of Philly: The soft pretzel capital of the world. When we moved here, we noticed that pretty much every restaurant that offers pub fare has a "Crab Pretzel" on their menu. After tasting different versions, I've found that I can actually stomach crab meat, but only if it's smothered in cream cheese and on top of a soft pretzel. I decided to crock WAY outside of my comfort zone and attempt to recreate one for restaurant week.

Here's what I did:

"Pretzel Bread" (6 quart pot)

~1 1/4 c water
~3 1/2 c wheat flour
~1 t salt
~1 egg yolk
~1 T vegetable oil
~1 t lemon juice
~2 T sugar
~1/8 t pepper
~1 pkt active dry yeast (that expired 7 months ago. Oops)

Mix all ingredients.
Knead for 5 minutes
Form pretzel.

~egg white
~1 t sea salt

Brush pretzel with egg white.
Sprinkle sea salt on top of pretzel.
Place pretzel in greased 6 quart crock pot.
Cover and cook on high for an hour.

"Hot Crab Dip" (3.5 quart pot)

(While that is crocking...)
~8 oz Philly cream cheese, cubed
~1/4 c heavy whipping cream

Mix ingredients in small CorningWare dish.
Place in 3.5 quart crock pot on high for 45 minutes or until cheese is melted.
Carefully remove CorningWare dish and mix in the following ingredients:

~6 oz canned crab meat
~8 t dried onion flakes
~1 1/2 t dried parsley
~1 t onion powder
~1 t celery seed
~1/2 t salt
~1/2 t sugar
~1/4 t pepper
~1/8 t yellow mustard
~1/2 c parmesan cheese
~1 t Worcestershire sauce
~1 clove garlic, minced
~1/2 t lemon juice

Spoon mixture over pretzel.
Cover and cook on high for 15 minutes.

~1/4 c mexican blend cheese, shredded

Sprinkle cheese on top of crab dip.
Cover and cook on high for 15 more minutes.

8 servings.

This was alright, but it had a handful of problems. The recipe I used for the pretzel part was actually called pretzel bread and it was bread-ier than it should've been. I'm not entirely sure a proper soft pretzel can be done in a crock pot. I'd be willing to try again if I find the right recipe. I am a Philly girl, so it'd have to be a GOOD soft pretzel recipe. I chose the pretzel bread recipe because I had all of the ingredients in my pantry. I should've known better. Also, the crab mixture was off somehow. I feel like it was missing something, but I don't know what, exactly. My other half said Old Bay, but I don't like Old Bay, so I don't think that was it. I also halved the quantity of crab from the original recipe and it was still a bit too crabby for my taste buds. I wish I liked crab. It would've made things so much easier...and tastier.

This is the end of "Restaurant Week". I hope you had as much fun as I did. We're heading out of town again, so I won't be back to crocking until Monday. 'Til then!

Baa Baa cinnamon rolls.

Today's suggestions came from Brad. (Hi Brad!)

He suggested I try this recipe and I was anxious to try it. With the exception of gyros I've had at various festivals, I hadn't had lamb in years. My grandmom made a lamb stew once or twice when I was little, but the only thing I remember about it is the mint jelly. The recipe Brad suggested is called "Grand Cru braised lamb shanks served with dried fig and winter spiced sauce over potato parsnip puree." I would've followed the recipe EXACTLY, but I could not find lamb shanks anywhere. And I mean ANYWHERE. The only supermarket within a ~5 mile radius (4 stores) that had any lamb cuts at all was Safeway. Lamb shanks are supposedly amazing in a crock pot, but since I couldn't spend all of the time in the world searching for shanks, I chose to do the same recipe, but using a Frenched rack of lamb instead. I also cheated and served it over regular mashed potatoes instead of the potato parsnip puree it recommended. So there.

Here's what I did.

~1 lb lamb rib roast, frenched
~salt and pepper
~2 T flour
~2 T olive oil
~2 carrots, peeled and chopped
~2 celery stalks, peeled and chopped
~2 leeks, chopped
~2 shallots, peeled and minced
~3 C chicken stock
~3 T fresh thyme leaves
~1/2 c dried figs, stemmed and quartered
~1 T brown sugar
~1 t ground coriander
~1 t ground cinnamon
~3 whole cloves
~1 bottle (750ml) La Trappe Quadrupel (minus some so my other half could taste it)

Wash lamb under cold water and remove access fat. Pat dry.
Sprinkle salt, pepper, and flour on both sides.
Oil a large saucepan and brown lamb evenly on both sides on medium heat.
Remove lamb.
Add carrots, celery, leeks, and shallots to oil and cook until slightly browned.
Deglaze saucepan with chicken stock and remove any vegetable remnants with a slotted spatula.
Add thyme, figs, sugar, coriander, cinnamon, and cloves; mix.
Place lamb in crock pot.
Pour mixture on top.
Pour beer on top.
Cover and cook on low for 7 hours.
Remove lamb.
Remove cloves
Blend vegetables and broth/beer mixture.
Pour on top of lamb.

This was a lot of work, but it was really good. I'd forgotten what actual lamb tastes like. The beer really stood out which made my other half happy. Lamb isn't one of my favorite meats, but it's fun to have something different every now and then, right? I'm curious how a shank would taste because I keep reading that they're AMAZING in a crock pot. I guess I'll have to keep my eye out for them. Or hop on a plane for New Zealand.

Brad also requested cinnamon rolls, but this time, he didn't give me a recipe. I could have made some from scratch, but since dinner was so complicated, I decided to go the easy route. I bought prepackaged cinnamon rolls and plopped them in the crock pot. And then added walnuts for funzies.

~1 package cinnamon rolls that comes with icing. (I used Cinnabon's with cream cheese icing)
~chopped walnuts

The recipe I found online told me to cook on high for 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Check doneness 2 hours in.

This is what NOT to do:

Nestle REFRIGERATED package of cinnamon rolls (after you take them out of the package, of course) and plop them into a greased crock pot. Cook for 2 hours. They were overcooked. Burnt. They were edible when they were warm, but became hockey pucks as they cooled. We trashed the rest of them and that's saying something.

This is what TO DO:

Take a FROZEN package of cinnamon rolls and nestle them in a greased CorningWare dish that fits into your crock pot.
Cook on high for 2 hours.
Add icing and walnuts while the rolls are still warm.

MUCH better. 1000 times better. They're half gone. Or half are left. Whichever you prefer...

Asi asi.

You might now know this about me, but I took Spanish for 8 years. 6 in high school. 2 in college. It was a really dumb thing for me to do, too because I CANNOT roll my Rs. I. Just. Can't. My Spanish is absolutely dreadful. Pretty much the only thing I can do is read it. I know my nouns. I know verbs, too, just not how to conjugate them.  

I couldn't think of a single Spanish dish to crock. I could name a handful of Spanish desserts. Entrees, though? Not so much. I picked this because it has Spanish in the title. And because I didn't know what couscous was until a year or so ago. Clearly coucous was not a staple of my childhood.

 "Spanish-Style Couscous" (6 quart pot)

~1 lb lean ground beef (I subbed ground turkey)

~1 can (14.5 oz) beef broth

~1 small green bell pepper, cut into 1/2 inch pieces

~1/2 medium onion, chopped

~2 cloves garlic, minced

~1 t ground cumin

~1/2 t dried thyme

~1 1/3 c water

~1 cup uncooked couscous

Brown beef using a skillet. Drain and discard fat.

Transfer beef to crock pot.

Add broth, pepper, onion, garlic, cumin, and thyme; stir well.

Cover and cook on low for 4 hours or until pepper is tender

Bring water to boil in small saucepan.

Stir in couscous.

Cover; remove from heat.

Let stand 5 minutes; fluff with fork.

Spoon couscous onto plates; top with beef mixture.

4 servings.

This was alright, but I felt like something was missing. Like...taste. I did learn something new though. Couscous is yummy and ridiculously easy to make. I might have to make it more often. Just not this dish.  

I'm sure you saw this one coming. I've crocked dulce de leche. I've crocked creme brulee. The only dessert from the cruise that I hadn't done was flan. Well, guess what? Today was flan day.  

"Flan" (3.5 quart pot)

~5 eggs

~1/2 c sugar

~1/2 t salt

~3/4 c flour

~1 can (12 oz) evaporated milk

~1 t vanilla

Coat crock pot with PAM.

Beat eggs, sugar and salt in large bowl with electric mixer at high speed until think and pale yellow.

Add flour; beat until smooth.

Beat in evaporated milk and vanilla.

Pour batter into crock pot.

Cover and cook on low 3 1/2-4 hours or until set. (Mine set in 3 3/4 hours)

Serve warm with whipped cream.

This is what it looks like when it's done.*

This is what it looks like when scooped out.

*Apparently, I overcrocked it, but I couldn't tell until I'd scooped it out.

It wasn't as gooey as it was supposed to be. (In the picture, the left side is cooked perfectly, the right side is overcooked.) It was still edible, but it wasn't right. I want to crock something custardy, I will definitely make the creme brulee instead. THAT was delicious.

Once again, I suck at Spanish...

The good, the bad, and the silly.

Until yesterday, I had never made (or even tasted) stuffed peppers. I forgot to mention that. Until today, I had never made lasagna. Meaty or veggie. I've eaten both, but we're not big on Italian and I strongly dislike the texture of ricotta cheese, so it's not something I would normally make.

"Veggie Lasagna" (6 quart pot)

~12 lasagna noodles, uncooked
~1/4 cup water
~1 can (4 oz) mushroom pieces, drained
~1/2 cup shredded carrots (2 large carrots)
~1/2 cup shredded zucchini
~2 jars (24 oz each) chunky vegetable spaghetti sauce (I used Newman's garlic)
~15 oz ricotta cheese
~2 cups grated mozzarella cheese

Grease crock pot.
Break 4 noodles to fit bottom of crock pot.
Sprinkle 1/2 mushrooms, 1/2 carrots, and 1/2 zucchini over the noodles.
Layer 1/3 sauce, 1/2 water, 1/2 ricotta, and 1/3 mozzarella over top.
Add another layer of noodles and second 1/2 of mushrooms, 1/2 half of carrots, and 1/2 half of zucchini.
Spread second 1/3 of sauce, remaining water and ricotta on top.
Sprinkle another 1/3 of mozzarella.
Layer remaining noodles, sauce, and mozzarella.

Cover and cook on low for 4.5 hours. Do not cook for more than 5 hours.

10 servings.

This came out perfectly. I was a little worried because it was the first dish I'd found that used UNcooked noodles. It made a ton and I knew that it would, so I'm REALLY glad I made this early in the week because we have lots of leftovers. My other half says he'd put this in his top 6.

When I wrote down my grocery list, I didn't write down how much zucchini I needed for the lasagna and ended up buying WAY too much. Since I seem to be making things I've never made before, I decided to attempt my first zucchini bread. In my smaller crock pot.

I'm not even going to share the recipe. It was THAT bad. I used one from a non-crock pot cookbook and tried to convert it. Big mistake. After an hour on high, the edges looked like they'd burn if I kept it crocking, so I turned it off even though the middle was still soupy. I let it cool for about half hour before inverting, but it didn't help. At all. I hate, hate, HATE cooking things on high with my smaller pot. It always burns things!

This is what I made!

Gross, right? It tasted even worse! The batter was salty, the innards were soupy, and the outtards were burnt. Ick.

Before I tossed everything in the trash, got a bit silly...

"There's a hole in this cake bread!"

Next time, I'll find a recipe that comes from a crock pot cook book and I'll cook it on LOW for several hours. It's time to pretend my small crock pot has no HIGH option.